Finding Your Soul

Richard Rohr's Daily Meditation

I Am Who I Am

Finding Your Soul

Monday, December 15, 2014
In the final stage of life, what I call the “I Am Who I Am” goal, you know your body is not you of itself; you have found your soul and been contacted by Spirit. You do not need to protect your external self, roles, money or status symbols. You do not need to promote them or prove them to anyone. You can even let go of your image of being superior in any way: a holy person, more moral than others, smarter, an advanced or enlightened person in any sense. You know that whatever has happened to you is all God’s work and you have merely been the lucky recipient. You did not do it; it was done to you. You do not waste time admiring yourself; it takes most of your time to admire the God who has done this to you and for you and as you—and for no good reason! She/He creates exquisite wildflowers in hidden valleys that no human eye will ever see—just for the inherent joy and beauty of it! Goodness is always diffusive and outpouring of itself by its very nature. In fact, that is what makes goodness so beautiful.

At this later and more mature stage, it’s enough to be simply human. I can now let God take care of whatever it means to be spiritual, because I am not even sure what “spiritual” means anymore. Everything seems to be both material and spiritual at the same time. Finally I have met my worst enemy, and that enemy is me—not the other, whose very enmity has often turned out to be friendship and intimacy at the soul level. By now, I have faced much of my shadow and found out that God loves me best in and through my mistakes, so I do not need to posture any more.

St. Francis said he wore a patched robe because he wanted to appear to others exactly as he was on the inside—wounded and weak—as we all are if we are honest. He had faced his broken self and it was precisely there that he met the most unconditional of loves. God uses everything, you see, even and especially our mistakes. St. Augustine said the same: “In my deepest wound I found you, Lord, and it dazzled me.” (I have that quote hanging in my hermitage.)

At this point, you are not tied to believing that your religion is the only one that gets people to God. You can see God in all things, everywhere, and easily in people outside your own religion. They did not change, your doctrines did not change, but you did! You have met the Formless One, so the mere forms of religion are not so important now. Still, you do not throw out any of the previous stages; you now know that people need to go through all of them. You do not waste time opposing the rituals, the doctrines, the hierarchies, the scriptures, or the belief systems that got you on this path; but now you know they are all just fingers pointing to the moon; they are not the moon itself. This is total non-dual thinking, a different mind and a different experience. This is the mind of the mystic.

Gateway to Silence:

I am who I am in the eyes of God, nothing more and nothing less.

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